My Newest Project

My new project came to me in a stroke of brilliance today...I was baking cranberry orange muffins and realized that perhaps I can use this frustrating time of uncertainty and sickness to my benefit.

You see, recently I have discovered that I may have diabetes and honestly, I've been quite upset about it. I feel as if my life has taken a strange and frightening turn and I'm not exactly sure what to do about it. I have not been officially diagnosed yet but it seems like that is the right direction to go in. On the one hand it makes me a bit relieved. After four years of undiagnosed illness, a possible resolution to that struggle seems quite desirable. Diabetes, although a disheartening thought, is still a manageable disease that when treated should allow me a relatively normal life. However, it also scares me to death! You are not supposed to be sick like this in your twenties. It seems so foreign and makes me feel so old to be staring diabetes in the face. This is my struggle and my conflict of the last few weeks. It has been worrying me to the point where I can't sleep at night and can't accomplish much in the daytime. This post is my written decision to put my stress to rest.

I came to a conclusion today that could potentially give me a project that would make my struggle into something positive in my life. I have decided to put together a collection of recipes that are healthy and delicious. Food that is low/non fat and low sugar so that people with special health concerns can still eat food that tastes good. Who knows at this point how far this project will go but at this point I am just experimenting.

Tonight I made three dozen cranberry orange muffins. Each batch was slightly different. I used whole wheat flour instead of white, added yogurt and cut out fat, added extra fiber and less sugar. Interestingly, the ones without the fat were the best tasting ones! My husband was sure not complaining about having lots of muffins around! =)

Life is full of twists and turns and the more I live, the more I learn that you need to be able to adapt your perspective and life goals based on the constantly changing nature of life. It reminds me of the leaves in the fall. One day it is summer and the leaves are green and fresh and the next day its fall and the leaves are turning golden and they are different than the summer leaves. This change seems like a death but really it is an essential change that prepares for a new season. I pray that I can view life and the change which accompanies it with this perspective.