My Newest Project

My new project came to me in a stroke of brilliance today...I was baking cranberry orange muffins and realized that perhaps I can use this frustrating time of uncertainty and sickness to my benefit.

You see, recently I have discovered that I may have diabetes and honestly, I've been quite upset about it. I feel as if my life has taken a strange and frightening turn and I'm not exactly sure what to do about it. I have not been officially diagnosed yet but it seems like that is the right direction to go in. On the one hand it makes me a bit relieved. After four years of undiagnosed illness, a possible resolution to that struggle seems quite desirable. Diabetes, although a disheartening thought, is still a manageable disease that when treated should allow me a relatively normal life. However, it also scares me to death! You are not supposed to be sick like this in your twenties. It seems so foreign and makes me feel so old to be staring diabetes in the face. This is my struggle and my conflict of the last few weeks. It has been worrying me to the point where I can't sleep at night and can't accomplish much in the daytime. This post is my written decision to put my stress to rest.

I came to a conclusion today that could potentially give me a project that would make my struggle into something positive in my life. I have decided to put together a collection of recipes that are healthy and delicious. Food that is low/non fat and low sugar so that people with special health concerns can still eat food that tastes good. Who knows at this point how far this project will go but at this point I am just experimenting.

Tonight I made three dozen cranberry orange muffins. Each batch was slightly different. I used whole wheat flour instead of white, added yogurt and cut out fat, added extra fiber and less sugar. Interestingly, the ones without the fat were the best tasting ones! My husband was sure not complaining about having lots of muffins around! =)

Life is full of twists and turns and the more I live, the more I learn that you need to be able to adapt your perspective and life goals based on the constantly changing nature of life. It reminds me of the leaves in the fall. One day it is summer and the leaves are green and fresh and the next day its fall and the leaves are turning golden and they are different than the summer leaves. This change seems like a death but really it is an essential change that prepares for a new season. I pray that I can view life and the change which accompanies it with this perspective.

BookReview: "Popes and Bankers: A Cultural History of Credit and Debt, From Aristotle to AIG" By Jack Cashill

I was a bit skeptical when I began this book. I am not very knowledgeable in financial history but found this book to be a big surprise. The author, Jack Cashill, managed to keep me interested in the topic and it turned out to be quite entertaining.It is a fascinating study on the topic even for the novice financial scholar.

One of the best things about this book was the way it tied many different historical periods and people. Cashill draws from many different areas of history to present as complete as possible a picture of credit and debt from present time to as far back as Dante and similar historical figures. I was previously unaware of the connections that many historical events or people had to the topic of credit and debt. Along with the historical details, the book is filled with shrewd observations on current events.

When I began reading this book, I was expecting to trudge through and end with a minimal understanding of the topic. However, I found myself excited to read more and acquired a much better understanding. I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested in learning more about credit and debt.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com <http://BookSneeze.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Sunny days of fall

I've been thinking a lot lately about how much emphasis we, as Christians, put on numbers...i.e. numbers of people. We have recently gotten a new pastor at our church and it almost seems sometimes that his primary focus is increasing the numbers in our church. It is a rather small church but I have always been of the opinion that number of people does not constitute a good or bad church. It is sad to me that so many people focus on bringing more people into their churches without really trying to meet the needs of the people who are in the church already. I think we need a yearning for spiritual maturity in our churches. Not to say that I am against growing in numbers or even that I don't think it can be good, but rather that I am afraid of a trend that focuses on bringing in larger numbers of people without meeting the spiritual needs of those same people. We are in danger as a Christian community when our success is measured by a number. I pray that we will learn to grow in maturity even as we seek to grow in number.

Better days

So I guess my last post was a bit sad and since I'm feeling better today I thought I would write a new one.

The house is clean, supper is planned and the meat is thawing, Nehemiah is napping, and I'm home alone so I think this is a good time to write a bit. Btw, I don't have a child. I am just borrowing one for a couple days. Or rather babysitting one. He is 2 years old and a great little guy. I made some play dough this afternoon for a fun activity when he wakes up. I enjoy having kids around. We have not been blessed with our own yet so I take advantage of opportunities to enjoy other peoples kids.

Yesterday I was less than encouraged in my job search at first but after I took a couple resumes in and actually got a bit of response I was much more encouraged. It doesn't mean that anything will happen but at least I didn't get refused right off the bat and they seemed to be helpful people. Now to see if it actually results in me getting a job! I am really enjoying being unemployed except for the job hunt part. I love being at home and being able to work on things at home. I've also had some great opportunities to spend time with friends and also be available for babysitting, etc. Plus my projects have gotten some time and my house have never been so organized! It makes me feel productive! I have also enjoyed being around when Nathan is home from school. He has Tuesdays off this semester and its been a great time for us to get stuff done together or just hang out. I will miss being at home when I start work but will enjoy being able to pay the bills! =)

At the moment I am stilling waiting for tests and doctors appointments to figure out whats up. Its been hard to have everything take so long. It would be nice to just be able to go to the doctor and get all the tests done without having to wait 6 months just to get the preliminary stuff done. Who knows what will happen if these tests don't resolve anything! I may be stuck waiting another 6 months! Yikes...this system is crazy!

Anyway, I am off to knead and color my play dough so I better run!

Life...

So...its been awhile. I can't say much has changed since my last post. I seem to be stuck in this rut that doesn't get any better, day after day after day! I still don't know whats up as far as medically, I still don't have a job, and I have no clue what I'm supposed to do next. It seems I've been down every road looking for a job and yet nothing even starts to happen. I'm not sure what lesson God is trying to teach me in all this but its starting to get me down. I am doubting everything about myself at this point. And while I know that God will provide for us, it seems as if He is trying to take us down to the last penny before anything turns up.

Its 2:33 am. I can't sleep and this feels like a depressing post but I am simply trying to understand. Perhaps if I write this all down it may put my life into perspective for me... Am I doing something wrong? Am I not trusting? Am I being too selective or lazy? Am I looking in the wrong places? Everywhere I look I see disappointment. What is my purpose and how do I fulfill it? How do I keep a positive attitude when everything in my life seems to be failing?

Lord, give me the strength to hold on because my grip is failing fast. I've tried everything that I can and now I need You to come through for me. Show me Your direction. Show me Your peace. Show me that all is not lost for me. I am struggling to understand and I need You to step in and take over. Take the wheel from my hands and turn it toward Your will. I'm trusting You to get us through. I leave it in Your hands.

Its funny how God works!

So the other day I was checking out Kijiji and found an ad for an exercise bike for sale. It seemed interesting and so I emailed the guy. We are wanting to go on a weekend bike trip in May so I thought it would be a good idea to get an exercise bike to train during the snowy/icy months. So he replied and sent me his phone number. I didn't do anything about it for a few days and then last night Nathan and I were talking about it and wondered if it would still be there so I said well you may as well call. It probably won't be available still because its been a few days and it was pretty cheap but may as well try. So he called. And within an hour we had a new exercise bike. But the really funny part about this strangely uninteresting story was that the guy needs some drywall taping done and has a bunch of rental properties that will need work and knows a whole bunch of people who need work done potentially. So we spent $50 on an used exercise bike that we didn't really even want until a week and a half ago and made a really significant contact for work. Maybe I'm the only one who sees this but it just seems crazy that we just randomly find this ad and the bike is still there when we call later and the guy might be able to get us a bunch of work! God is good! He works things out for us in ways I can not fathom! I mean we don't have any work from him yet but its a contact anyway. Unfortunately I still have not found my wallet which is slightly stressful. I keep praying that God will bring it back to me but so far no sign of it. Its not the end of the world but I would feel better if I knew where it was! Anyway, just wanted to encourage you all that God is watching out for us and He will bring things to fruition in our lives at just the right time for our maximum benefit. Keep your chin up! =)

The Great Escape!

Guess what movie I watched recently?! =) Seriously though, I was thinking about the title and realized that it would be a good title for the Christian life as well. We have been part of the greatest escape of all time! Through Christ we have been saved from a more horrible prison than any that man could create. Thank God for our Great Escape! We have been blessed more abundantly than we deserve and we owe God our very breath and life. Praise God!