Better days

So I guess my last post was a bit sad and since I'm feeling better today I thought I would write a new one.

The house is clean, supper is planned and the meat is thawing, Nehemiah is napping, and I'm home alone so I think this is a good time to write a bit. Btw, I don't have a child. I am just borrowing one for a couple days. Or rather babysitting one. He is 2 years old and a great little guy. I made some play dough this afternoon for a fun activity when he wakes up. I enjoy having kids around. We have not been blessed with our own yet so I take advantage of opportunities to enjoy other peoples kids.

Yesterday I was less than encouraged in my job search at first but after I took a couple resumes in and actually got a bit of response I was much more encouraged. It doesn't mean that anything will happen but at least I didn't get refused right off the bat and they seemed to be helpful people. Now to see if it actually results in me getting a job! I am really enjoying being unemployed except for the job hunt part. I love being at home and being able to work on things at home. I've also had some great opportunities to spend time with friends and also be available for babysitting, etc. Plus my projects have gotten some time and my house have never been so organized! It makes me feel productive! I have also enjoyed being around when Nathan is home from school. He has Tuesdays off this semester and its been a great time for us to get stuff done together or just hang out. I will miss being at home when I start work but will enjoy being able to pay the bills! =)

At the moment I am stilling waiting for tests and doctors appointments to figure out whats up. Its been hard to have everything take so long. It would be nice to just be able to go to the doctor and get all the tests done without having to wait 6 months just to get the preliminary stuff done. Who knows what will happen if these tests don't resolve anything! I may be stuck waiting another 6 months! Yikes...this system is crazy!

Anyway, I am off to knead and color my play dough so I better run!

Life...

So...its been awhile. I can't say much has changed since my last post. I seem to be stuck in this rut that doesn't get any better, day after day after day! I still don't know whats up as far as medically, I still don't have a job, and I have no clue what I'm supposed to do next. It seems I've been down every road looking for a job and yet nothing even starts to happen. I'm not sure what lesson God is trying to teach me in all this but its starting to get me down. I am doubting everything about myself at this point. And while I know that God will provide for us, it seems as if He is trying to take us down to the last penny before anything turns up.

Its 2:33 am. I can't sleep and this feels like a depressing post but I am simply trying to understand. Perhaps if I write this all down it may put my life into perspective for me... Am I doing something wrong? Am I not trusting? Am I being too selective or lazy? Am I looking in the wrong places? Everywhere I look I see disappointment. What is my purpose and how do I fulfill it? How do I keep a positive attitude when everything in my life seems to be failing?

Lord, give me the strength to hold on because my grip is failing fast. I've tried everything that I can and now I need You to come through for me. Show me Your direction. Show me Your peace. Show me that all is not lost for me. I am struggling to understand and I need You to step in and take over. Take the wheel from my hands and turn it toward Your will. I'm trusting You to get us through. I leave it in Your hands.

Its funny how God works!

So the other day I was checking out Kijiji and found an ad for an exercise bike for sale. It seemed interesting and so I emailed the guy. We are wanting to go on a weekend bike trip in May so I thought it would be a good idea to get an exercise bike to train during the snowy/icy months. So he replied and sent me his phone number. I didn't do anything about it for a few days and then last night Nathan and I were talking about it and wondered if it would still be there so I said well you may as well call. It probably won't be available still because its been a few days and it was pretty cheap but may as well try. So he called. And within an hour we had a new exercise bike. But the really funny part about this strangely uninteresting story was that the guy needs some drywall taping done and has a bunch of rental properties that will need work and knows a whole bunch of people who need work done potentially. So we spent $50 on an used exercise bike that we didn't really even want until a week and a half ago and made a really significant contact for work. Maybe I'm the only one who sees this but it just seems crazy that we just randomly find this ad and the bike is still there when we call later and the guy might be able to get us a bunch of work! God is good! He works things out for us in ways I can not fathom! I mean we don't have any work from him yet but its a contact anyway. Unfortunately I still have not found my wallet which is slightly stressful. I keep praying that God will bring it back to me but so far no sign of it. Its not the end of the world but I would feel better if I knew where it was! Anyway, just wanted to encourage you all that God is watching out for us and He will bring things to fruition in our lives at just the right time for our maximum benefit. Keep your chin up! =)

The Great Escape!

Guess what movie I watched recently?! =) Seriously though, I was thinking about the title and realized that it would be a good title for the Christian life as well. We have been part of the greatest escape of all time! Through Christ we have been saved from a more horrible prison than any that man could create. Thank God for our Great Escape! We have been blessed more abundantly than we deserve and we owe God our very breath and life. Praise God!

As if my life could get any crazier!

So I am once again completely up in the air with regards to what is going on in my life. Just when I thought things were starting to calm down, something else goes haywire! I had been having health problems for awhile and thought that everything was finally starting to get back to normal. I went to the doctor (a new doctor) for some routine blood tests and found out that I may have, not one, but two serious illnesses! I sat in the chair at the doctors and thought "how can my life change so much with just a few little words!" My outlook on life at this moment is very different than the one I had even this morning at 11:59. Life is such a fragile balance and it doesn't take much for the balance to be tinkered with and you are left reeling. I don't understand why this would happen to me when I thought I was pretty healthy. Sure I had a few small things that could have been better but I was working on them and thought they were getting better. Sometimes I don't understand the way God works. I don't know whether I have these illnesses or what if going on but it terrifies me just the same. I am confused and afraid of what may be coming in the next few weeks, but I know that God hasn't abandoned me. He is still the ruler of all and the all powerful God. I know that He will do what is best for me in my life. Help me God, to remember that promise whatever comes my way. Thank you for my amazing husband who is an incredible source of strength for me.

Important Things

Today I have been thinking about what is really important in my life. I have been married for two years, two months, and 22 days. This time has been one of the most precious periods of my life. God has blessed me with an amazing husband who loves and cares for me more than I deserve! He has become so much a part of my life that I could not imagine going on without him. He is one of the most important things in my life. There are so many sad things happening in the world today and one of the saddest is what is happening to families. So often now we hear stories of broken families and ruined marriages. This is not what is supposed to happen. Why is marriage treated with such flippancy? I understand that marriage is hard. We have had our share of struggles but to give up seems so sad. What is our world coming to when we trade spouses like we change our hairstyles? Whatever happened to "Till death do us part"? It is so sad to me to consider the pain and sorrow that is haunting so many families because of adultery, infidelity, and divorce. Marriage can be such a blessing if you keep it in good repair. We can't let problems get to the point where we can do such harm to our marriages and our spouses.

Life is hard and requires a lot of effort but if something is truly important to you, it is worth putting in the required effort. My marriage is important to me. It is more important than anything else apart from God and I am committed to its success. My wedding vows are promises that I have made and intend to keep no matter what trials come our way. My prayer today is that people who take similar vows would take them seriously and not cast aside the love and commitment of a spouse on a whim. Lord help us all to be true to our commitments!

It's all new!

So its been awhile since I posted on my blog and I thought I better write something. We recently moved to a new city and it has been an interesting change for me. The scenery is gorgeous here. We are in the middle of fall and the leaves on the trees are slowly changing to beautiful shades of orange and yellow. There are crisp leaves skipping along the sidewalks as the brisk wind blows them to and fro. At times I feel like one of those leaves. My life has been turned upside down in the last month or so. I was happy in my plans for the year and thought that I had everything figured out when all of a sudden everything that I had planned and had wanted to do in the upcoming months went flying out the window and away before I could catch them. All it took was a small gust of wind to turn my life all topsy turvy. I do not regret our move nor hold hard feelings about the reason for moving, I am simply learning to adjust. Why do you think God works in this way? Why does He let you think that one thing is going to happen and then all of a sudden with no warning you are set on another, completely different path? As I sit here and watch the leaves frolicking in the autumn wind I am reminded of the circumstances of life and how delicate life itself is. I don't think that we as Christians or as humans for that matter truly understand how fragile life is or how easily our lives can be changed. All it took for these leaves was a bit of cold and wind and they are removed from their home and left to wander on their own. I am so glad that my life is in the hands of God and that no matter how far I go in this world I am not alone.
This past month in a new city has taught me a lot about priorities. I have realized that family is a huge priority for me. I always knew that it was but when you lose all the familiar things in life such as place, church, the apartment we had, job, etc. you start to understand what things you really need to hold on to. And for me that thing is family ( and friends!! =) ) . I am very close to my family and it is hard to me to be separated from them. I have had to rely on God more for companionship and for strength than I have had to before, when I was in a familiar, comfortable place. Its hard being in a new city with no familiar things. Even the small things are different like the grocery store and where you used to store your toilet paper. I don't have a handy little cupboard anymore and so I had to be creative and learn new ways of doing things and new places to go. Its made my husband and I closer in some ways because we are more thankful to have each other. To make this move alone would have been very hard but to have a spouse that embarks on these new adventures with you is phenomenal! Marriage is such a blessing from God!
Life is good and God is amazing!